Book Recommendations

 Trying to not doom scroll as much and get back into reading if anyone has any good romance/action book recommendations plz lmk!!

Is this Appropriate?

 Today I went to a funeral of an older man that I've always sang choir with and gone to church with. He was one of those guys I never talked to much but was also extremely easy to talk to unlike a lot of older people. He was such a jokester and was the funny kind of jokes not like the ones people will say and you just laugh nervously to get it over with. I've only went to three funerals in my life but this one was the best celebration of life I've been to. All of his family is very musically inclined and his grandsons and nephew performed multiple times and it was jaw dropping. Also his grandson WROTE a song while his grandpa was in the hospital and he preformed it at the funeral which was an absolute tear jerker. 

I hate to say this about a guy who was mourning his grandfather but this grandson was beautiful like I saw him walk in and he caught my eye he might just be for real the whole package. Anyway as soon as my mom and I got back into the car she said you should follow him on social media he posts all the time and also goes to a college close to me. So then ofc I looked him up on Instagram and there all singing videos so props to him for really putting himself out there. 

This story was leading to how I thought maybe I should dm him and complement his song and also send my condolences? but I'm not sure about all that but also yolo; the only thing that's stopping me is maybe it could be seen as insensitive or something I'm not too sure. 

I'll keep you guys updated if I decide to make a move or not.

Ghosted?

 Recently a guy has reached out to me THREE times then continued to ghost me after every time. Before anyone gets mad I told him not to contact me again because what is he doing bro. Also mind you we talked for like three months never really had to exclusive talk but at some point if you're spending almost everyday together you should assume exclusivity. right? Well I lowkey kept ignoring red flags and then the last flag hit me hard which was when my big saw him on a night out with one of his friends (that is a girl), which who cares you honestly should have some diversity in your friend group, but when my big said he was cheating on me he said "we aren't even together." Why was that the straw that broke the camel's back because even if we weren't officially together THAT was his first reply instinct. Now I know my friend shouldn't have ran up on him like that but good thing she did because I'd probably just end up more hurt down the road. 

All this had me thinking about a bigger issue though, why are we so dependent for partnership? I mean living life is all about making memories like that one saying "what is a person if not the memories of their loved ones" or something, but why do those memories have to come from a partner? I love my amazing friends and I haven't been this happy ever in my life yet I will still crave a different type of love that I am willing to lose myself for it. Well that is unacceptable I have worked on my self love a lot this summer since I'm not near any of my friends and I am ready to ONLY expect the best!

I do feel you are always making compromises in a relationship but how many is too many? 

Summer Update

 This is my first post but here is a summer life update for the fans:

I got a perm two days ago but I was really scared all my hair was going to fall out because I bleached my hair in may. If you are not familiar with perm rules bleach + perm = A BIG FAT NONO, but my faithful google said 5 month in between SHOULD be fine but your results may differ. Results rock I'm loving the curly hair I feel like its the perfect amount of whimsical for me. Shoutout my curly headed friends ;) (Also feel free to give unsolicited advice for my new curly hair) 

I love my internship and gossiping with all the middle-age women and I'm learning so many things about raising boys (they all have sons). On an actual work related note I'm not doing much engineer related things besides hoping on auto CAD to count materials on some random farm related design. ALSO I feel slight shame growing up in the middle of nowhere and knowing zip about farm things I'm like a lost puppy who specializing in counting materials I've never heard of.

My favorite new discoveries are the Cetaphil toner which has replaced my old toner that I can't remember the name of but it has a red and grey theme. I really feel my skin is smoother and pores by smaller HELLO. I have also loved looking through my sisters closet with all her old cringey clothes that she doesn't wear anymore and revamping them to cool new clothes. #newclotheswhodis 

Lastly I've been seeing a lot of traffic about its the time of Aquarius so watch out world because I'm feeling great and Manhattan ain't ready for this violin. 

AYYYYYY my amazon package just came which reminded me I'm starting my charm bracelet journey so if anyone needs gift ideas for me getting me a meaningful charm will probably make me cry.

✌👅💋👼😀😛😜🙈🙉🙊🍩🍀💮🦑